So my story will start off back in Nam. But not really because it will start back in the heart of Russia where I was born into a crack deal/sweatshop working family. They all loved me equally and beat me every night. Oddly enough I enjoyed this because I was a naughty girl. My brother and sisters never got beat as much as I did but that OK. Because they were adopted from Eskimos in the deep jungles of the Australian slave mines. My mother was half camel and my father was whole rhino buffalo and I guess that would make me a half camel rhino buffalo. One night I forgot to sweep the sink and I almost slipped on my bathroom towels because they were covered in sour cream. Anyways back to my story in NAM. I was running through the deep Forrest when two polar bears jumped out of the trees with new 2010 jet packs and asked me to halt. I replied with a smooth chuck Norris kick to both of there faces, leaving them faceless. As I drove my tank through the enemies stronghold I thought Peanut or Jelly? Sadly though my mind was brought to a better place, made out of sugar spice and everything nice. And then I met my friend Free Bacon who joined me in my adventures to candy land. We fought through waves and waves of candy soldiers until Free Bacon got embarrassed and left. I was alone again. After I took over the candy castle I was taken in by a pack of wolfs like cows to there mothers nipples. Then Japan dropped an A-Bomb on my new castle and all of my wolf friends got blown up. I was left, on my own once more. But then Goku in super saiyan form 7 taught me the ways of the engineer and I then began to build a computer out of red stones. After building my new hello kitty computer out of red stone and twigs and mayonnaise I Met Kevin Bacon who introduced me to minecraft after we made hawt steamy love in my mom pick up truck that she got at arbys. And he I am.
Glad I had the chance to share my life with you all.

i nor the family approve of this >.>

<3 Free Bacon. The Family lives on.